I was on a run today. It was a wet, misty, dirty, puddle filled run. Not at all enjoyable. I didn’t want to go. I was tired, and slightly hung over… But I pushed myself out the door anyways. Just before mile 3, my right leg caught a nasty cramp. It wasn’t anything that I couldn’t run through… So I worked it.
Just a little cramp I told myself. And I started to think about that little cramp. And how it came to be… It was born out of desire. A desire for growth. A desire for strength. For the search of knowledge. As I felt that knot in my quad tighten, I smiled. Because I knew it would pass. And everything started to click.
The right song came on. The fresh smell of the incoming tide drew into the wooded trail. The mist felt refreshing. The dirt kicked up from the puddles made me feel strong. My stride opened. My lungs felt full. All along the way, I carried this cramp, and smile, with me…
As I broke out of the forest and back into town, I felt my companion start to weaken with small spasms and I smiled bigger. The song was getting to a beautiful climax, and my cramp let go of it’s short lived will towards existence.
It happens quite often that I get into discussions with people on the topic of life, and what comes next. And I try my best to illustrate how I don’t concern myself with it. My beliefs of afterlife dont affect how I live my life today. I don’t do things looking for a reward. I do things because, through life and experience, as well as the counsel of those that I trust and love, I have developed an idea of the difference between right and wrong… I don’t always make the right choice, I am human and full of fault… But I believe that I on most days, I step towards the light. What happens after our time on this rock expires is outside of our control.
To me that release of control makes it all quite simple… Life is just like that cramp. It comes from some bigger purpose. That cramp doesn’t know that my long term goals brought me to the road on this rainy Sunday morning. It just knows that it has the opportunity to exist for the moment. To exist, and hold on for dear life. To cherish the fact that it can simply be. Just as I don’t know the design for this beautiful tragedy of life… I just am enjoying as much of the ride as I can. I am experiencing, and cherishing it all. Because I know just like that cramp, someday my body will let go of this momentary grip it has on life… and then I’ll just be… To me this is soothing. And I don’t need much more than that.
(This was the song.)