A brief glimpse of beautiful irony…

I haven’t been at this job long. I haven’t experienced all the grime and grit that comes to wear down the seasoned paramedics with whom I share the road. I still have a “new car smell” attitude towards the job. Many tell me that this will fade, and I am sure in part it will. However, part of me cannot help but to see the beauty in the tragedies we are a part of day in and day out. 

I look at the role models I have in life that have endured the field for decades now, and believe that there is a reason they are still at it. My Mom was a pediatric ER nurse for nearly 20 years, when she left; and after 5 years in the insurance side of medicine, she felt called back to the floor. And she loves it more today than ever before. So how? Why do we do it?
I can not definitively answer these questions with such limited experience, but I can narrate my initial impressions. The calls don’t stop. Even as I sit here writing this, the radio sounds with chatter and echos. Each tone is another person in trouble. Whether petty or traumatic, it is a life quite literally on the line. 

To me, there are few things more beautiful to see than an elderly couple clenching hands with worry and anguish. Not because of the pain (physical or emotional) associated with the incident, but because of everything that came before it. Couples who spent 50, 60, 70 years together. The work that went in to making it through the hard times. The joy shared during the great times. The nights on the couch. The weekends away. The bills. The vacations. The heartache of loss. The beauty of love. 

It is amazing to witness the culmination of all these events in the back of an ambulance… and this is my job. THIS is what I do. I feel honored. Honored to be invited, needed, in these moments. This life we live is a one way track. We are all only one step behind the next… but our ability to share life with one another enriches our lives in ways that amazes me… that’s what I’ve learned so far.

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Posted by on February 5, 2017 in Uncategorized



This is the first release of my first, fully recorded song. A year flies by when you find passion.


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Posted by on August 7, 2014 in Uncategorized


A collection of Illustrations, works, sketches and notes.








































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Posted by on July 4, 2014 in Uncategorized


Mighty Tarzan Hear His Roar…


I grew up with him. I woke up to his mighty roaring yawns. He was the last cat to wander in from the night, and the first push his way to the front of the food line. The house we lived in was a zoo. Eight dogs, and five house cats (most of whom were wanderers more than residents). My grandpa called this particular wandering grey furred beast… Tarzan; so, the name stuck. I couldn’t tell you the story of how he became a part of our family, I was too young, but a part of our family, he was.

To this day, I can name every mangey mutt in that house. (Hedda, Aspen, Razzie, Sassy, Tiger & Lilly, Tonka & Yoda), But I only remember the cats that were a part of my daydreams; and Tarzan filled them as a child.

His days were filled with long naps and patrols of the hallways. His reign was supreme. His force and strength were recognized by each and every feline… and even a few of our house pack canines.

Each night, as the evenings drew closer, Tarzan would begin to rise nobly from his days’ rest. He would stretch and strut amid the hallways’s setting sun. His routine was impeccably precise. Somewhere along the lines, turing Tarzan’s rise to power, my grandpa started feeding him a can of sardines before his nightly quests. The sliding glass door would open, and Tarzan would step outside, as my grandfather placed the sardines on the porch. After a few grateful mouthfuls, Tarzan would stalk prominently into the dusk setting wood. Fearlessly to the march of the crickets, he would go.

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Posted by on December 31, 2013 in Uncategorized



Photo Roadtrip of 2012…

A quick trip down memory lane…

C130 in the hanger.

C130 Drop Flight.

Sunset in Clearwater.

A new venture.

Leaving Cincinnati.

The 60 hanger in Clearwater.

Badlands National Park.

Mt. Rushmore.

Rapid City, SD. A night out with new friends.

Devils Tower.

Coming up on Devils Tower in Wyoming.

Just outside of Yellowstone.

Old Faithful.


Mammoth Springs in Yellowstone.

The famous Pike St. Seattle.

Roosevelt Entrance to Yellowstone.

Downtown Seattle.

First flight on the H60.

Saying goodbye to Sitka, Alaska. Bitter Sweet goodbye.

Light house off the coast of British Columbia.

A look out from our firepit.

Good friend at the water’s edge.

Sunset out side the bar on a Friday night shift. The whales were breaching!

H60 Jayhawk on the ramp of Airsta Sitka. Mt. Edgecumbe in the background.

Summit of Harbor Mountain.

Summited peak of Mt. Verstovia.

Beauty at the top. Mt. Verstovia.

Harbor Mountain.

Herring Run.

A challenge postponed… On account of snow. Mt. Verstovia in the background.

Thimbleberry Trail.

Said goodbye to a dear friend…

Snow Capped Mt. Edgecumbe Fills the horizon.

As the weather moves in…

Breathtaking shot of Sitka Sound.

Welcome to my world. Airsta Sitka!

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Posted by on January 6, 2013 in Uncategorized


…Guest Blogger…


Had a good buddy write up a short story in a matter of five minutes on my type-writer one night… I told him I was going to post it… so here it is…

Written by @Johnson_CT

I went to the store with my best friend to buy a gallon of milk so I could have a nice yummy bowl of cereal. I met this pretty old lady at the store with a snaggle tooth. It scared me at first but I looked past her deformity into her heart and saw a beautiful woman.

She took me home to her house to have a cup of coffee with her and her pug. After a lovely evening with Janet I let myself out and drove myself home. On the drive back I couldn’t stop thinking of her oversized ear lobes. They were fucking nasty… Like, I know she sees them, get that shit fixed. I decided to never go shopping at the Safeway where I met her ever again.

Months passed and I had sex with lots of hot women, and not a single thought of Janet crossed my mind. It wasn’t until I read in the newspaper that a woman by the name of Janet Homecomb had lost her pug, and was offering a $200 reward to anyone who returned her pug. That moment I was flooded with a monsoon of emotions. I began to think how happy I was during that short time I spent with Janet, some 4 months ago.

I found myself on a manhunt for this little pug, so I could return him to Janet. Not so I could receive the reward, but so I could see her face again. At that moment something from the corner of my eye caught my attention and caused me to swerve across the double lines and into oncoming traffic. It was as if time halted, and I was suspended in some sort of limbo. The feeling was quickly replaced with terror and panic, as the nose of the car lifted into the air, and I became weightless. Everything was surreal and I felt at peace again. Then the faint scream of an old woman leaked into my bleeding head as I climbed out of the wreckage.

My car no longer resembled a vehicle, only a pile of rubble in the middle of a cacophony of noises. I stumbled to the street to see a body laying in the road in a puddle of blood. I still did not know what had happend, until i heard her voice… It was Janet.

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Posted by on January 4, 2013 in Uncategorized


unspoken conversations…

unspoken conversations...

[Note: The first part of this post is a personal experience that then leads into the beginning of a short story. ~nlvogs]


I wish I could tell you this is a happy story. I wish I could tell you that it is a story of ‘the guy get’s the girl’, or ‘hero wins the battle’… but in earnest, I don’t know what this story means; perhaps because I am living it. I can say that just like any story, there is plenty of room for unspoken apologies, ungiven thanks, and unheard I love you’s. I think that it is grey that surrounds us. It is the little moments of short conversations that define us. They dictate our unfolding lives. Sure, right and wrong exist… but only to the individual. The truth exists in the moments of unspoken conversations.

They happen more often than many of us recognize. I first really noticed such moments on a boardwalk in Southern California. My dog and I sat at a pair of hard wood rocking chairs, against a table watching the people walking by. I was in awe of Linus’s attention to the crowd as they enjoyed the evening sunset. He sat calm and collect. He was at peace with everything. It wasn’t until he recognized my stare, that we spoke. I simply smiled at him. He smiled back at me and asked, what? With his eyes of course. I gently shook my head, humored by his questioning nature, saying nothing, but letting him know I was pleased with him. He looked at me curiously, and said “ok” with a cock of his head, and looked back to the sea and the passing crowd.

Dialogue with those dear to us can fill our souls. But it is peculiar how occasionally saying nothing is the best thing to say. Letting silence win over words. Allowing a moment to speak for itself. Hearing a breeze. Giving the stage to the rolling waves. Observing the solemn cry of a church bell.

I lose myself often. I get caught up in the day to day. But on occasion, my mind steps away. It happen once on a road trip along the coast, a friend and I took. We set a rule. One rule. We decided that we would not speak, except for the moments between the door bells of roadstops. Any door bell would do. Gas stations, diners, convenience stores… it didn’t matter; but there had to be a bell. The times between the bells, on the road, we would fall silent. Left to the conflicts of our selves.

It’s funny the things that bring people together. It had been years since either of us had time to get out of town. But truth be told, neither of us really had time for the roadtrip we were about to take. We both had jobs that ate every free waking moment. The demand for product analysis tied up his 9-5, and emails about inaccuracies in his numbers filled his nights. My day job as a bike courier had me running across the city all day, and a second gig as a bar keep at my corner dive filled my nights.

About my job… I don’t like it. I work for a giant old bastard. He is an old cyclist who rode the tour back in the 70’s. He smells like cardboard, and is about as grisled as an old Jewish man could be. Its not the work as a bike courier that gets me. Hell, its not even the un-godly time in the morning that I’m required to be up. Its the haggard old man. Never a moment to catch my breath. Every time the bell rings as I walk in, its a sure thing that I’m late from the last delivery, and late to the next. That damn bell.

I stick around because the money is good, and I love the bike. It may not sound like much of a job, but if you heard the list of clientele we work for, you would rethink. Big law firms always need signatures in a hurry. As a courier and a public notary, I am their answer. Its not often you run into a job where you get paid to weave thru traffic in a major metropolitan city. So I put up with the damn bell.

I am one of three riders. The other two, Matt and Brian, share days working part time. They are a younger couple of guys. Both students at the university. Having them around gives me the chance to sneak into a coffee shop a couple blocks down. I bring my bike in with me so the old bastard doesn’t catch a glance of it as he looks down the avenue during one of his day long cigar breaks. Its nothing fancy. Your typical dimly lit, wood floored, indie music playing coffee shop, with an attractive staff and an average cup of joe. But it is my refuge once a day.

About six months ago, I woke up on a Tuesday of no particular importance. I threw on a pair of biker shorts and a tee, filled my water bottle, picked up my bike, and head out the door.

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Posted by on January 4, 2013 in Uncategorized


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